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Writer's pictureMelanie Roussel

Weird and Wonderful Discworld Characters - Honourable Mentions

There are well over 1100 named characters in the Discworld series, far more than I ever have a hope of covering in a month-long series. There are more than a dozen characters I desperately wanted to write about but simply couldn't fit them in. Rhys Rhysson, Mr Shine, Cheery Littlebottom, Lu Tze, Dibbler, Willikins, Bloody Stupid Johnson and Nobby Nobbs to name a few.

But I figured there's a few minor characters I can do a quick splash on to make up for it!


Gaspode (the wonder dog)

It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there. You think Dopey the Mutt there would last five minutes in Ankh-Morpork? He set one paw in some o’ the streets, he’s three sets of fur gloves an’ Crispy Fried No. 27 at the nearest Klatchian all-night carry-out. Moving Pictures, Terry Pratchett

Gaspode is a small terrier-like mongrel dog who lives on the streets of Ankh-Morpork and has the ability to think and speak like a human. Of course, as dogs can't talk, no one notices him. He's often heard to sarcastically remark "Woof bloody woof," causing people a moment of concern before they remind themselves that dogs can't talk.


Gaspode is known to hang around the Canting Crew, a group of beggars who live on the streets, where he acts as a thinking-brain dog for Foul Ole Ron.


He is also possibly the only member of Ankh-Morpork's League Against Cruelty To Dogs.


The Agony Aunts*

These two loves are a little obscure and only appear in Night Watch. Dotsie and Sadie are two elderly ladies who provide protection for the Ladies of Negotiable Affection, long before the Seamstresses' Guild was founded.


You see, unlike the Watch, the Agony Aunts have no rules. If you disturb the peace at one of the local houses of good repute, you had to content to Dotsie's handbag - a very efficient way of knocking a man senseless. And Sadie can do terrible things with a parrot-headed umbrella.

The Aunts didn't run. They famously didn't run. They caught up with you slowly. Anyone who'd been, as they called it, "a very naughty boy" would sleep extremely badly knowing that the Aunts on his tail were slowly getting nearer, pausing only for a cream tea somewhere or to visit an interesting jumble sale. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett

*For anyone outside of the UK perhaps missing the joke, we call advice columnists agony aunts. In this case, the agony is entirely literal.

Pepe

I've never understood why Pepe isn't a better known character as, though he only appears as a minor character in Unseen Academicals, I absolutely love him.

Pepe is an unusual Dwarf, not least because he's not actually a Dwarf, but actually a human from Ankh-Mopork - specifically, Lobbin Clout. He's one of only two human characters who have honoury dwarf status, the other being Captain Carrot. By his own description, he's a bastard, an old bugger and a sod.


He and his life-partner, Madame Sharn, run the business Shatta, a Dwarfish fashion line. Their innovative Micromail, called Retribushium makes them incredibly wealthy, but he never forgets the poverty he came from. Pratchett uses Pepe to introduce one of the key themes of the book - the crab bucket.

Being born in the wrong street/shape/race/sex is Crab Bucket. The endless fight for recognition/food/love/appreciation is Crab Bucket.L-Space

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